Anyway, a very interesting commercial came on. I'm pretty sure you've all heard of it, but it's the all-amazing, apparently proven miracle drug known as Lipozene.
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| Calling you fat since 2005. |
It seemed perfectly normal for a Lipozene commercial at first, calling everybody fat and blaming it on our glycemic indexes and what not, with a pencil thin woman providing information and random people who somehow lost weight by taking in 1500 mg of glucosamine three times a day. That was, until they started talking about the pill itself. I quote this directly from the commercial: "Scientists have discovered a capsule..."
Hold on for a daggum minute! You're meaning to tell me that this magical diet pill, apparently used by the ancient Mayans (which explains how they were so thin), has been sitting in a crumbling, booby-trap laden temple on some remote island in the middle of nowhere just waiting to be discovered by our swashbuckling health scientists with their overbearing chutzpah?
Sorry, archaeology majors, I'm afraid it's time to switch your profession choice. Health science is the new cool, and the scientists themselves can hold off angry tribal men better than our old pal.
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| Don't look so upset, Indie. It was bound to happen someday. |
Well folks, if anything proves that Lipozene is a miracle drug, this is it.
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| Better than a golden idol could ever hope to be. |
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